How bad is The Happening?
If a tenth-grader had submitted the script in a writing class, you'd be looking for a gentle way to say, "This is some really immature work for a person your age."
The Happening would make Al Gore say, "Enough with this global-warming bullshit already."
The Happening makes Don't Mess with the Zohan look like Citizen Kane.
The Happening is beneath the dignity and the talents of Zooey Deschanel.
Watching The Happening is a lot like watching Mark Wahlberg play that scene in The Simpsons where Sideshow Bob keeps stepping on a rake and hitting himself in the face, over and over--except not funny.
As entertainment, The Happening stands as some kind of curious hybrid of watching a demented child pull the wings off flies and watching paint dry--emphasizing the worst aspects of each.